A naked truth

Like many of the thoughts I share here, this one has been percolating around in my mind for quite some time. In fact, I have touched on this previously here but feel a deep need to revisit this topic again.

I find myself in an emotional crises of sorts. I had a hunch this situation would arise, but I honestly did not expect to be so invested in the situation.....which is what happens when horses come to stay with me-I get attached to them quite firmly. I have agonized over Zippy, Pepper, Chubs, and Wingnut, and others that have graced my property over the years. Striving to do what is right for them-special diets, special attention, finding the right placement for them that affords them good quality of life, you know? It has caused me all sorts of headaches and heartaches over the years-balancing my great drive to nuture against the practical realities of horse care here.

But if I didn't have that emotional connection, I suppose I would be an unfeeling person who gave no thought towards their future. And despite the distress, I am comfortable being who I am.....even if it is sometimes very painful.

Which brings me to today. Even though I knew it was coming, the pony Princess has numbered days. Maybe just a couple of weeks at the outside. It's a situation where the owner cannot possibly manage the expense, and the chances of placement are about zip. She's an old pony. No one knows for sure, but she did originally come from Anchorage and has served many years as a lesson pony for a great number of children. She could be 25, or 35. At her age, she has earned the retirement she deserves....not to be handed off to yet another work situation. She needs a child of her own for walk trot toddles, to be brushed and petted and loved upon. She needs giggling little girls to tie ribbons in her mane and tail, to hop on bareback and play around the grassy, sunny yard, being loved and treasured.

She does have the majority of her molars, but needs soft leafy hay and tiny bit of senior mash daily. On the scale of horse feeding costs, it's almost nothing, really.

But it seems to be too much for almost everyone.....and this is the plight of a great number of our senior horses here. There is no where for them to go. No retirement farms with ample pastures here. No farms with caretakers on site, no ranches with empty box stalls needing residents, no organization functioning to manage such a place. No sanctuary, no program to subsidize their care in their last months and years. And seemingly, no one who cares. People who can no longer take care of them, have all sorts of entirely plausible and valid reasons for not doing so. And in this economy it's only going to get worse. I won't even touch upon those who are dumping horses in their mid 20s because it's too much work to take care of an aged horse who needs a nightly mash-those people are beyond redemption in my mind. They'd rather dump their "problem" on anyone else and duck the responsibility of being humane on someone else.

And most of us who are willing to take on the special needs of senior horses, are already tapped out. No space, no extra room in the budget, no time to spare. Three of the horses I have turned down this winter, were very aged seniors needing a fairly intense level of care if not outright recovery measures. Two were put down and I don't know what happened to the other. Maybe it fed a dog team. It may make you feel a bit nauseated to read it, but honestly, I would prefer a horse be put down humanely by gunshot and the remains utilized, than to stand out back, slowly dying due to neglect and apathy on the part of the owners. And too, a person needs to consider quality of life for these horses.

Chronic conditions with significant pain? This is not quality of life.
Disease processes which have been left untreated? No pain free life there either.

Each person who owns a senior will have to face the inevitable eventually, and realize that all life comes to an end. The trick is being humane enough to recognize that the time has come for the horse, not the owner.

Which leads me back, after a fashion, to the Princess. It's not her time. Is she 100% sound at all time? Nope, she does have some very mild arthritis. Is she suffering in any way? Nope, she is chipper and bright and outgoing. Can she be ridden? Yes-lightly, she couldn't handle being in yet another lesson program while someone squeezed a few more bucks out of her efforts. Does she have many years left? I cannot say, but with her "ponytude" and competent care, there is no reason she couldn't introduce yet another generation of young children to the joys of horses. I am torn in two over the Princess myself. Yes, I have a young son who would adore to have a horse of his own.....but my son is already nearly too big to ride a pony that size. I already have another senior horse which I am paying to board some place else. I have two other horses, and Princess would make four.......

At the end, in my heart, I find only pain and anguish and sadness, that Princess may no longer greet someone with a quiet nicker and a head bob, that she may not be found nuzzling little hands for treats, that she may not be bluffing the big horses into compliance with her wishes. That she may not grace the coming spring at all.

And that is the naked truth here. There is no where for them. No where at all, even if they reside in your heart :(